Fuckbuddies are all fun and games until you start to catch feelings for them. Contrary to popular belief, guys do sometimes want more than a sexual relationship with the girl they’re seeing as their local fuck pal. Even though we all may go into a fuckbuddy or friends with benefits relationship knowing that it’s nothing serious; just some casual, fun, and short-term sex, we can’t help or control how our feelings develop.
If you’re in a functional fuckbuddy relationship, chances are you have a lot of chemistry with that person. When you have someone who’s good in bed that you click with, and enjoy hanging around, it’s no surprise that some feelings may develop.
But, you’re probably unsure of she feels. You two have made an agreement and stuck to it, and you’re wondering whether to bring up how you feel or not. Most of all, you’re wondering if she feels the same way. One thing you should do before trying to make her your girlfriend is assess if you truly have feelings for her. It’s always a good idea to evaluate your feelings before acting on them and potentially ruining your fuckbuddy relationship.
That being said, if you think about it and decide that the risk is worth telling her, then you most likely have true feelings for her. Before you admit your feelings to her, there are some small things you can do before making the grand gesture of asking her to be your girlfriend to show her you’re interested in taking things further, and to make her realize that she wants to be your girlfriend just as much as you want her to be.
Start Seeing Her More Often
The first thing you’ll want to do to start making it apparent that you have feelings for her, and for her to see she does, too, is to start seeing each other more often. Depending on how frequently you two have sex, you’ll need to increase that number. Start asking her over more and encourage her to do the same. Your excuse could be something like “I’m just super stressed right now and being with you relaxes me,” or “I’m feeling extra horny,” if you want to be more honest.
Spending more time together is a great way to increase the passion in your relationship. If you’re having more frequent sex, that’ll quickly turn into a more passionate, emotional relationship. It also reassures her that you’re not seeing anyone else, and she’ll consider cutting off other people if she’s having enough sex with you.
Invite Her to Public Outings
Another way to see her more often, and demonstrate a change in your feelings, is by inviting her to things you do socially. Now, she might be weirded out by this at first since chances are, you two discussed this before and decided not to hang out with each other’s friends or even out in public, besides the bedroom. But you can easily convince her that it’s not weird at all, and there’s a way you can invite her out to things you do without exclusively hanging out with her at first.
Try inviting her to a social gathering you’re planning on going to with a group of friends. Maybe it’s a gallery opening, a festival, the local bar, or whatever, but the next time you’re in bed, mention it to her and suggest she go. She might ask “With you?” and then you could say “If you want to, I wouldn’t mind. But you could take a friend, too. It’s gonna be fun.”
This way, she decides if she would like to be your plus-1 or be with one of her friends; either way, she’ll be in the same space as you and likely talk to you at the event. Afterward, it will give you two something to talk about together, and the next time you invite her out, you can ask, “Why don’t you come with me this time?”
Once you go out together, just the two of you, it’s important to show her that you’re a good time and that you can work outside the bedroom, too. You want her to have fun with you and enjoy herself.
Show Her You Care
The easiest way to show a girl you care about her is to ask her how her day is. Since you started to see her more often, maybe she comes over to your place during the day instead of at night. When she gets there, you can ask her how her day is going and talk before getting down to business. Be genuine and ask questions to dive deeper into how she’s feeling every day you see her. This will show her that you care about her wellbeing and she’ll really like that.
Another way to show her you care is to ask if you can help her with anything. When you’re talking she might bring up some issues she’s having, and if there’s something you can do to help, you should offer it to her. She may say yes or no, but whichever way she’ll know you’re there to talk to and ask for help if she needs it. Women like men who are caring and show that they would do anything they need to help them out.
If all goes according to plan, you’ll have hung out with her in public and can start asking to hang out more. She’ll most likely say yes once she sees you guys can do stuff outside of sex and still have a good time without it being weird. It’s important to note that up until the point you’re ready to start showing PDA that you don’t act that way with her before. All the times you hang out should be casual and friendly. Show her first that you’re someone she could see herself being with and spending time with without being touchy or clingy. You could verbally flirt with her or say something spicy leading back to your place, but for the most part, keep it respectful.
When you’ve hung out a few times, then it’s a good time to try PDA. Start lightly by grabbing her hand or holding it. You could also brush her shoulder with your arm and get closer to her and give her light touches. Placing your hand on her arm goes a long way and grabs her attention. If she doesn’t pull away or seems uncomfortable with what you’re doing, try to go in for a kiss when the time is right. Hug her afterward and maybe share a laugh.
You want to become softer when you’re trying to get your fuckbuddy to be your girlfriend since she’s probably used to you being rather distant. You may or may not already cuddle after sex, depending on the terms you’ve agreed upon, but if you never do or usually don’t, it’d be a good idea to start doing so.
When she tries to leave after sex or when she assumes that it’s time for her to go, pull her back into bed by grabbing her arm, or if you want to take it up a notch, by her waist. When she asks what you’re doing or why you want her to stay, say you “just wanna cuddle.” Chances are she won’t say no. Everyone loves to cuddle.
Spend the Night More Often
If neither of you ever sleep over at each other’s place when you hook up, now’s the time to start. You could either suggest she stay by saying something along the lines of “You could stay over if you want, it’s no big deal,” after a particularly late-night hookup, or you could ask to stay at hers. Going to sleep with someone is a very intimate moment, and waking up next them is even more so. When she wakes up in the morning, turn ad smile at her. If you wake up before her, try to make breakfast if you know where her things are in the kitchen.
Turn Up the Charm
You may not usually compliment her or try to be charming, but now’s your time to shine. You want to be super suave with her and get her interested in more than sex with you. Girls love a guy who knows how to be charming and just a little (or a lot) freaky, which you likely already have down with your time in bed. Show her both sides of you and that you can be sweet and charming, but also rough when you need to be.
Take Her on a Date
If all is going well and you notice a change in her and how she treats you, and she’s showing you that she likes how you’ve changed in how you treat your fuckbuddy relationship, you should ask her on a proper date.
Ideally, the situation would be that you two have been hanging out in more casual situations, enjoying time together as fuckbuddies/friends, with a little PDA and flirting mixed in. Maybe occasionally it leads back to one of your places for sex.
The difference now is that you’re going to call it a “date,” and plan something for her. She’ll be totally surprised and, hopefully, thrilled. She’ll be excited and almost not believe that you could plan a date, but you want to show her that you can.
Do something you’ll both enjoy and that reflects your personalities for a better chance at the date working in your favor. For example, if you’re both adventurous people, going go-karting would be an awesome date for you two. Or, if you both enjoy a good wine, go wine-tasting. Anything that shows you pay attention to her personality and what she likes, but also keeping it in line with your own interests so she can see the idea of you two being together wouldn’t be so disastrous.
Confess Your Feelings
After your date, she’ll probably be wondering why you asked her on one in the first place or what you’re feeling. Girls tend to over analyze like that, and if you didn’t confess them on the date, she’ll try to figure out how you feel about her and what’s been going on. It’s entirely up to you when you want to tell her that you want her to be your girlfriend, either on the date or sometime after, but just make sure the time is right.
You’ll know when.