5 tips you must know when BDSM dating

Hello, fellow kinky person! Since you’re reading this I can only assume that you’re looking to jump into the dating pool that intersects with those interested in BDSM!

Sex is important. Connecting with someone on metal level is arguably just as important as connecting with someone on a physical level. So, if you find that you’re interested in kink and fetish you’re definitely going to need to find a long-term partner who’s interested in those things too! Here are a few tips for all of you newbies when it comes to taking the plunge into the kinky dating pool!

1. Beware of creeps

Just like normal dating, there are some creepy people who are into BDSM dating. You need to beware of anyone who describes themselves as an “alpha”. While there are many men and women who characterize themselves as such, this can be a sign of arrogance and disregard for limits.

Anyone who comes off as “too dominant” or outright states they don’t play with a safe word is someone you should be cautious of or outright avoid. These people are not practicing Safe Sane Consensual (SSC) kink or RACK, which should be your standards.

Additionally, beware of clingy subs. There are plenty of people who will try to manipulate you from the tip and from the bottom. Shitty people come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, colors, and sexual roles. So be careful!

2. Always discuss likes/dislikes and limits!

Before you engage in any sexual activity (especially kink) you need to have a sit-down with the other person and discuss your fetishes and limits. Limits are characterized as either hard or soft. Hard limits are not to be tested, soft limits may be tested under certain circumstances with the consent of those involved.

This discussion – while scary to initiate – will make sure that you connect on a sexual level with this person! In my opinion vanilla couples should do this too, but you definitely need to do this with any kinky partners you might have.

3. Don’t just tie each other up immediately

While it might be exciting to find someone, you’re attracted to who shares your kinks, don’t get too excited. Kink is risky and you need to trust that the other person has your best interest in mind before you break out the handcuffs!

Trust is built. So make sure you build that trust or if you’re playing at play party, make sure you’re playing around DM’s who are hyper vigilant and will intervene if needed.

4. Find the balance between physical and mental attraction, don’t just stay with a pretty face

This is a huge problem with both vanilla and kinky people! Don’t just stay with someone because the physical chemistry is good. Yes, it’s amazing to find someone who’s super-hot and super kinky in the same ways you’re kinky, but don’t stay with them if they’re a bad person or if there’s no mental connection.

There’s no harm in having play partners, who are people who you get along with and connect with on a physical level but aren’t the kind of people you pursue a serious relationship with.

There are other kinky fish in the kinky sea. You will find someone who you connect with both physically and mentally. I promise you this person isn’t the only person you’ll meet who’s into the same set of things as you!

5. Understand poly and casual sex, ready yourself for rejection

A brief note on poly: there are a lot of people within the kinky community who identify as polyamorous. This can mean a lot of different things. This could mean they casually date outside of their relationship, this could mean they have sex outside of their relationship, or this can mean they have multiple partners.

A lot of poly people have a core relationship with one other person, so don’t feel discouraged if a relationship with a poly person doesn’t work out because they have a core relationship. It happens, rejection happens, you’ll survive.

Additionally, a lot of people in the kink community are only interested in casual sex. Not everyone wants a relationship. If you’re looking for something long-term make sure you have this conversation before you start developing feelings that may not be mutual.

Here’s Why it’s so Hard to find Jewish Singles

5.) Religion As A Dealbreaker

For those who are incredibly religious, it is understandable that Judaism is a deal breaker. But for people who happen to be secular AND who have no choice but to marry a Jewish person, it is suggested that this person changes this said deal breaker. Expand your horizons to both Jewish singles, and to single people who don’t consider themselves a part of any religion. If the primary reason for wanting to date a Jewish person is because you want to be able to raise Jewish kinderlach, well lucky for you, according to the Torah, only the mom needs to be Jewish. And there are tons of people in the world who will be totally fine with raising their children Jewish; remember to never write them all off at the beginning of this process.

4.) Geography

If you have been single for more than ten years and haven’t had luck, it’s better to try out a new region where you might just have better chances as a single, Jewish person. In the San Francisco database, the ratio is 1:1 for Jewish women and men instead of 7:2, which it is in New York. In LA it is 3 men to 2 women.

3.) Too Many Deal Breakers

Be open to people who are one or more years younger, or even people who happen to be  10  to 15 years older than you. Be open to people who happen to have a few extra pounds on them. Always be open to the nerdy people and even the people with boring jobs. Be open to people who are divorced, and/or be open to people who have kids. The point of this particular rule is to just be open, a rule that comes with dating in general.

2.) Again Be Open

It is important to reiterate this rule in a separate point because it is seen everywhere, all of the time. For the love of G-d, don’t just save Judaism and the height of the person as your only deal breakers. Please pick one personal deal breaker for you. Wanting to date someone who is an inch or two taller than you is okay, but wanting a nice Jewish husband who stands over you when you wearing your tallest heels is not so okay. In a dating market that is already this difficult, are a few pairs of 4” heels really more important to you than the man who just might become your future husband?

1.) Jewish People Shvetz

If you’re really that worried about finding someone Jewish, don’t worry! You will! Just remember that Jewish people, well, we happen to worry, or in Yiddish, they “shvetz” over everything. Something that might not be the biggest deal is a huge deal to someone who is Jewish, this includes waking up on time, spending the right amount of money on something, and much, much more. This statement is not intended to be stereotypical, it is actually in defense of the religion itself! Even NON-Jews can shvetz too. The point is just to stay cool. You’ll find someone.

Learn more about Jewish singles below!

Top 3 Apps For Chubby Dating

Online dating apps have made finding your perfect partner easier than ever. No matter what your niche, there’s an app catering to it. The following websites are the three best dating services in the BBW world.

Chubby Bunnie

As the name suggests, Chubbybunnie.com is targeted towards singles with a penchant for the larger side of life. It’s not just for big beautiful women either, there’s also a large selection of bigger men on offer too.

Chubby Bunnie is one of the longest-serving BBW dating sites on the internet, having been around for almost fifteen years. Therefore, the active membership is currently over the one million mark – a lot more than any other BBW dating site around.

The site differentiates between standard members and gold members. Standard members can only communicate to other members with winks, as well as browse users by age and location only. In order to get the full use out of Chubby Bunnie, gold membership is recommended, but it’s definitely worth the $29.95 monthly subscription (less if you purchase six months at once).

As well as being able to message with other gold members on the site, this membership also comes with a personal mentor who will help you find your perfect partner. They will offer you personalized advice to make your profile stand out, as well as helping you write that all-important first message.

In summary, Chubby Bunnie is the best BBW dating app out there. It has the most members, the most features and the personalized advice is a great addition. The subscription fee is a little higher than other sites, but as with everything in life, you get what you pay for.

BBW Cupid

Like Chubby Bunnie, BBW Cupid is aimed solely towards bigger men and ladies, but it doesn’t mean you have to be curvy to sign up. There are just as many skinnier people looking for an older person to date than there are BBWs and BHMs.

Standard membership on the site is free. You can send messages to other users, but you’ll need to be a gold/premium member to read any messages you receive. The quality of profiles on there is second to only Chubby Bunnie, which is reflected in the monthly subscription costs. If you commit to a year’s subscription, membership is only $10 a month.

To get the best out of BBW Cupid, gold or premium membership is recommended. There’s only a minor difference between the two, with premium membership offering video chat, advanced search options and a highlighted profile in search results.

BBW Cupid is one of the best sites in the BBW niche. Searching and profile navigation is easy and the subscription costs are reasonable. There are a slightly less users than Chubby Bunnie, but still more than enough to satisfy your needs.


Similar to Tinder, WooPlus offers a matchmaking system based on looks alone. You simply swipe left or right on people you like, and if they’ve returned the favor, you’re invited to chat with them.

It’s as easy as that. There’s not much else to WooPlus. Because of its simplicity, it has become a very popular app since its inception in 2015. Most attractively of all is that WooPlus is free to use for its basic service, and there’s a small upgrade available if you want to talk to users you haven’t matched with.

WooPlus is catered mostly towards BBWs and BHMs, and there’s plenty of these kinds of people available on there. There’s a small portion of non-BBWs on there, but they only make up a small minority of users.

Looking for more chubby dating sites? then check out this link!